I'm disappointed in you.

I think it's time we compiled a list
of places that we shouldn't go.
Now is not the time to lose your voice.
Everyone should have a choice.
-Maximo Park

Game over, St. Louis.

I believed your promises, I did. I thought we had potential. Most definitely. I tried to love you. But you’ve let me down. As my friend recently said, “most of the time St. Louis is cool. But when it lets you down, it lets you down in the worst way.” Indeed.

I hate to write you off, as I’ve always tried to be your number one fan. But in light of recent events, I have no choice but to say that your food options aren’t doing it for me. I dare say it’s over.

First, all of your good qualities, the good places to eat, seem to close down. I’ve already mourned the losses of Revival and Eternity Deli, as well as the unfortunate transformations of Erato and City Grocer. But Sol, sweet, Sol, once the greatest lounge in the world, complete with velvet sofas, curtains, and espresso martinis, now a hideous warehouse techno dance club. Sol, simply, my bangs aren’t big enough. And I have reason to fear that the ONE vegan resty in town won’t be here forever.

But I’ve not even begun to touch on my other issues. I try to maximize the positive. I’m a person that accepts you for who you are and embraces you in all of your individuality. But if we’re being honest, really truly honest, then I really do have some complaints.

Mosaic, although you’re one of my favorite places to go, while your asparagus gnocchi, fried artichoke hearts with chili aioli, blood orange broccoli salad, and grilled asparagus are fantastic, the truth is, you haven’t changed your menu in more than five years. I know where to go if I want truffled frites, but seriously, have you got nothing going on inside of that kitchen of yours?



As for Indian: again, St. Louis, good effort. Rasoi you have taken upscale Indian and made something of it. I commend you.



But at the end of the day, what have you done for me lately? I’ve been to Graffiti, which seats less than twenty patrons and the kitchen is equipped solely with some frying pans, microwaves, and crock pots and still, still, their green curried mango cheese and hummus pizzas put your Korma to shame. It’s Indian alright. But it’s new; it’s edgy; it’s amazing.



And I don’t even know where to begin with sushi. I don’t eat meat or fish so maybe you don’t want to make an effort with the veggie rolls and seaweed salads and wasabi and soy sauces. Maybe you put all your sushi eggs in the fish basket and couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

But I’ve seen the sushi light. I’ve met a real contender in Blue Ribbon in Brooklyn with my choice of more than THIRTY veggie rolls including spinach rolls and black forest mushroom and avocado rolls… plus my choice of two different kinds of seaweed salad.

I could go on. But clearly you don’t want to. You’re content with mediocrity so who am I to force you into taking chances?

Look, I don’t want to be a downer, and I hope I don't sound bitter. I wanted to be the champion of your assets and your number one fan. But the truth is you had the opportunity and you blew it. And it's not even that I can't forgive your shortcomings. It's really the way you handle them that is so disappointing.

I mean, 50% of restaurants don't make it - I get that. But to transform from one of the best places in town into a sports bar? Or simply to put a sign on the door without notice - "closed"? After all of these years, St. Louis, that's simply not going to cut it.

I’m sorry, St. Louis, but game over. As soon as I finish law school, I’m outta here!