Saturday, December 6, 2008

Things you NEVER want to see

1) mastodon phalluses on your plate. I dig it, Agave, you're trying to be all vegetarian and rice-bally and stuff, and I do appreciate your meat-free entree, but this was horrible. Hideous. I can't even tell you. I think Poblanos ‘Estilo RELLENO’ must mean something terrifying in Spanish.


2) last night's "dinner" memorialized in a cartoon. Uncanny, right?

3) ribs in the bathroom. R I B S I N T H E B A T H R O O M!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Brain Food

I think we can see from the inverse relationship between the x factor of the photos of my food and the y factor of my brain's activities of late, that mathematically, lawschool is bad for blogging.

Wait a second; I'm not studying statistics!!

Let me try that again: Heretofore, based on sound judgment and that which a reasonable person would deem as such, that the photographic lack of statutory rulings enclosed in this blog are evidentiary support for the claimaint's petition for lack of time and resources for blogging.

Something like that.

Anyway, though there is a dearth of blog time, the food isn't all that bad as a law student!

We have Meshuggah's Famous Bagels and salad!We have Revival - one of my favorite restaurants - fried green tomatoes, summer squash pizza,and a lovely Rioja!!

And Meg's famous breakfast...

I could go on, but I have to read the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

New York: They're Not Fucking Around (as promised)

A friend and I once had a joke about our alma-mater, the University of Missouri. We said their slogan should be, "UMSL: You're not fooling anyone."

Well, in the same vein, I might say something like, "Humphrys: Are you kidding me?"

or "Mosaic: Fan Fucking Tastic."

or maybe even "USAirways: A Crying Shame."

And of course, if I were to say something about New York other than "New York: Fuck Yeah," then I would probably say, "New York: They're Not Fucking Around." Because they aren't.

(as a side bar: will all this fucking cursing hurt my legal career??)

Regardless; here's why NY AIN'T FUCKING AROUND:

An iced soy mocha and the subway:

Spicy Spanish Spinach from Pipa's and the Top of the Rock:










Roasted beet and goat cheese bruschetta from the Cook Shop and Central Park:














Indian samosas and Park Ave:











Wine from HOUSE and Claes Oldenburg (fuck, you can't beat Giant Soft Fan):













Williamsburg, Brooklyn diner breaky and wall art!














Ok you see what I'm saying now? Fuck yeah.

Let me ask you one question

Is it wrong to complete your first homework assignment for law school over a rather expensive dinner and a glass of zin?

Shouldn't I be paying my dues? Living on the cheap, respecting my student loans, taking advantage of the always looming "free food"?!

eh.






I dunno, I think contract law is fun. But it's even better with wine! I promise you!

Oh-bama.

No, bama.

Let me be clear: this isn't a complaint. This is me expressing concern and symapthy. And sorrow that I can't do better.

At a recent rally for the presidential candidate whose name begins with O and ends with ama, I saw this:

And this:









Oh and this:

Oy-bama.

If I had the time and the means, then I would so love to cater these events! If so, I'd cook something like this:


Or maybe this!!

But alas, I didn't even cook those myself, much less could I provide food for the masses at a political rally. In fact, when the O....ama campaigners call me and ask for my help, I've had to give them my stock respose: "I'm sorry, I'd like to, but I'm about to start law school and I can't commit to anything right now. Good luck, though!"

Sigh...

I can vote, however! Go-bama!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

just make yerself a dang quesa-dilla!

When all else fails, then you go for the quesadilla. If you're lucky, they might add veggies inside. And if you're double lucky, then they might remember NOT to add the chicken when you ask.

It's not so bad, I suppose, the quesadilla. Tortilla, cheese, some veggies. No wait, that's what's so bad. I mean, they taste good; that's why when you're 13 and you discover the wonder of melted cheese inside crispy tortillas you embrace them with such gusto. But undoubtedly, the tortillas are trans-fat-laden. I know this for several reasons:
  1. only New York and California have banned transfats in restaurants
  2. only transfat flour tortillas get that nice crisp when you fry them. It's much harder to get that texture from the healthy variety. And don't even think about the whole grain variety. Uh uh.
And besides the TF problem, they are super cheesy. Which is good if you heart cheese. Which I do. In my mind. But when you're a bit lactose intolerant, then that much cheese is, frankly, just wrong.

But you can come to terms with them because of the guacamole and the salsa: if you can't get veggies inside, at least you're getting some tomato and avocado. Right??? Well, unless your guac is the Kraft variety, which actually doesn't have any avocado in it. Which brings me back to my first point: when all else fails.

I usually only go this route when I'm at a bar, looking for a snack, and I'm facing toasted raviolis (which, by the way, someone tried to recently convince me were stuffed with spinach! the nerve!), chicken fingers, or fried cheese (again, tasty, but hard on the body). Lately I've done this a lot it seems. Here's my ranking:
1) First place goes to the Irish pub downtown (the other Dubliner), Tigin's. These were quite yummy: pepper cheese and lots of fresh garden veggies inside, including tiny tomatoes, but not on tortillas. Nope, in true Irish fashion, they were grilled on boxtys, which are potato pancakes. Amazing! 2) Second place is the Cheesecake Factory. I asked them to add veggies to their cheese quesadilla and they stuffed it with some really nice corn succotash. I actually had to purchase a side of corn succotash and then they stuffed it in, but it worked out!
3) Felix's. oy. Felix's is good for one thing: the chocolate covered strawberry martini. Which is not a veggie quesadilla. But the two went hand-in-hand ok for a work happy hour. You do what you gotta.I'm going to think of some interesting, easy to produce, healthful, tasty suggestions for bars to include on their menu and then send them all a postcard. Perhaps it will go something like this:

Dear happy hour locale:
Please consider adding any of the following for your happy hour menu:
  • asian veggies and a sesame-tahini dip
  • fresh spring rolls with cucumber, carrots, lettuce, sprouts, you name it!
  • fresh hummus with whole-grain pita
  • bruschetta with mushrooms, tomatoes, and/or roasted red pepper. oh and roasted garlic. maybe beets and goat cheese, too
  • baked sweet potato fries
  • edamame.

I appreciate it!

Signed,
Megfood.

Just a thought! They might not be thrilling options, but they would be a far superior choice to us near-vegans out there when happy houring. Seriously.
In the mean time, if you are a die-hard quesadilla fan, then I did happen upon a fabulous quesailla recipe that I make myself sometimes. If you're in the mood, try it.
  • whole-grain transfat-free tortillas
  • fresh corn cut off the cob
  • yellow onion
  • baby spinach
  • mozzarella, grated
  1. Just saute the veggies (make a generous amount)
  2. throw them on a tortilla laying flat in a dry, hot skillet
  3. sprinkle with a tiny amount of cheese--just enough to bind it
  4. cover with another tortilla
  5. heat till melty and crispy
  6. flip
  7. voila!

Amazing!

  • whole grains? check
  • protein? check
  • iron, fiber, other nutrients? check.
did you add real avocados and tomatoes?
  • then lycopene, vitamin C, healthy fats, check.
you catch my drift.

I bet these aren't the kind that Napoleon Dynamite made, though. His were probably cheesier.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Oops, I did it again

I ate a vegan dawg

from Willie's Dogs

In Brooklyn

But this time, I opted for the tofu dawg rather than the marinated carrot. Same cheesy avocado, though. Oh, and a side of beans.
If you've got 2 hours to get from Brooklyn to Chelsea and you have to see the Takashi Murakami exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum on the way because it's the last day, then truly, your only choice for lunch is a vegan dawg. Really. Just ask Willie.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

New York: Fuck Yeah

I've been thinking about this for a while... why is everything better in NY?

People ask me why I love NY so much, and I usually respond, "the subway," but that can't be it. I mean, MegFOODBlog, right? And yes, the food is bountiful, noteworthy, and mood-specific. Massive. The thing is, though I think my heart is in the subway, the food is where my soul is, because in NY, you can get a meal to suit every occasion, every event, every mood. It's a little bit like - what do they call that? Pathetic Fallacy or something? That literary device where nature mimics human emotion. Yes, the food in NY does that.

If you're feeling contemplative, then you have to go to Teany. Teany is Moby's vegan tea house and restaurant in the East Village. It's a great place to get a healthy snack, drink a pot of tea either to relax or to get totally amped up, and just be left alone and ogle tattoos. It's intimate, but you don't need to feel like socializing there. So, life's got you a little down? Head to Teany and have a pot of jasmine tea and the amazing artichoke heart beet salad (add goat cheese)! You'll see, it's enlightening! The vegan creamy herb dressing is best!


If you're feeling social, on the other hand, then Moutarde in Park Slope in Brooklyn is where it's at. Equally intimate, this one somehow breeds conversation and interaction. Start with a bottle of red to accompany the crudites and mustard first course. Then, while you have the option of a meat or even veggie risotto entree, I recommending selecting from the sides menu, where you can maximize your flavor opportunities and encourage lots of cross-plate-tasting! It's the epitome of intimate socializing. I had the caramelized endive (oh my), the julienned veggies with roasted potato mash, the carrot/butternut squash puree, and then the most amazing shitake and asparagus risotto I'd ever had. I know it's just mushrooms and asparagus, but there was magic in there (and it wasn't chicken stock. I asked. For real!) If you're on the fence about something, then you're going to need a lot of room to make choices and not feel punished for those choices. The Farm on Adderly in Ditmas Park in Brooklyn will afford you that kind of freedom. Between three, we had 8 dishes, a bottle of wine, various other wines, a coffee course, one heck of a ton of leftovers, and not much of a dent in the pocketbook. The best part, though, was not only that we could bring home the remnants of our exploratory journey, but we could bring them home in compostable sugarcane containers! And if we didn't have ready access to a compost bin, then the Farm on Adderly would graciously take them back and compost them for us!

So what to eat is: the best fries in NY (voted!) with a curry mayo; fried artichoke hearts with house made sundrieds on a walnut puree; grilled asparagus with a poached egg on a spicy mustard sauce; chilled cream of summer pea soup with truffle oil; fried foccacia; baby butter lettuce with fried onions, peas, lemon thyme, and a housemade buttermilk dressing; finally, a pea fettuccine.

But say it's not a day of choices; you aren't looking to think or contemplate; you just want good. Take the train down to Tribeca and stop by Il Mattone. This place is perfect for subsisting. Tribeca is full of energy and posh, but you needn't exert yourself. This little corner bistro allows you to just be. To do so you need three things: a glass of zin, the butter-parmesan-champagne-vinaigrette artichoke hearts, and the couscous salad with grilled veggies--a little warm, a little charred, and very balsamicy. Whoa!



For those occasions where you are embracing life--just digging in and taking hold of it--you need to make your way to Chelsea and dine at the Cook Shop. The food here is phenomenal and abundant, so you don't need to ponder what looks best or what you're in the mood for. And if you ask for a glass of wine, they automatically bring you four glasses, four bottles, and start pouring. I heart impromtu wine tastings!!

The Cook Shop is great for moments when you're in it because they match odd ingredients in ways that shout, "fuck yeah!" So just pick a few dishes and go for it! I recommend the ginger vodka lemonade to accompany the bread and horseradish-creme fraishe spread course, then the purslane (a citrusy green), blueberry, and toasted hazelnut salad, the corn and purple Asian basil soup, the fried hominy grits (the size of nickels!), the morel mushroom ravioli in a pea sauce, oh and while you're at it, you may as well enjoy every dessert on the menu. No need to exert brain power choosing; just go for it! This is life, and life is beautiful!


But say it's a dark day; not depressed, just low lit. You're feeling earthy, romantic perhaps, or maybe just European. Then head underground to Pipa in the Gramercy neighborhood, have some sangria or some Chilean malbec, enjoy the music of the Latino underworld, and experience tapas. Wine infused mushrooms, spicy and covered with herbs; grilled asparagus in an avocado sauce; spicy sauteed spinach; and a flatbread pizza with corn, veggies, and bean puree. Dessert was good too, but mostly this place was good for the dark and steamy ____________ (fill-in-the-blank). (wink)

Got a good night's sleep? Went for a run or to the gym first thing? You need to rebuild your protein supply! Dizzys in Brooklyn will get you the best breaky for any given Sunday. You should probably find someone to split two meals with you, because you'll want the benefit of both the eggs Florentine and the power breakfast with yogurt, granola, and fruit. And then there are the complimentary muffins and scones to round out any meal.









And I would be remiss, of course, if I didn't talk about NY celebrations. These can be had in many ways, but for the kind where you have good news to share, and you want the entire city to know, then you head yourself to Rockefeller Center and you sit amongst the masses. You may even run into Elmo. Order yourself a good red zin and a cheese plate, and you'll find that your good spirits will be well served!

I could go on. Seriously.... I could. But should I?
Nah. I'll save the rest for the next blog: New York: They're Not Fucking Around!