Maybe this time...

Maybe this time, I'll be lucky

Maybe this time, he'll stay

Maybe this time

For the first time

Love won't hurry away

-International Superstar Sally Bowles

I know I just wrote you off, St. Louis. I apologize. I had things to say, and while you might not feel better, I do, for having said them.

Of late, I’ve felt a spark. Just a little fluttering. I don’t want to read into things, because I know that our chances are slim, but The Good Pie has shown me that there may be hope for us yet.

Hand made crust cooked perfectly in a hand made brick oven, topped with fresh tomatoes crushed into a sauce and buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil. That’s all. Just perfectly warm, crisp, melty, and delicious.




Let’s not jump the gun, here. Let’s just leave it at maybe, just maybe...

Nooner

Nooner, anyone?

I like working downtown, for many reasons, but not the least of which was once CITY GROCER. Unlike overpriced and under-flavored Straubs, and over-salted and over-meated Schnucks, City Grocer's fabulous deli counter was replete with as many salads as you could ask for.

Sampling was mandatory. Options were diverse. Mr. Deli Counter was, um, engaging.

Asian broccoli salad and mac-and-cheese!

Italian summer veggie salad and broccoli pepper goodness!

Whoa, I must have really liked that broccoli business because I kept coming back for seconds! But also black bean salad with other deliciousness!

Tofu bok choy salad and light summer salad of peppers, tomatoes, and onions!


See, I have a thing for deli counters. The best I've seen in the world was located outside Galway, Ireland at the cafeteria at the Clifs of Moher:

But now City Grocer has been "upgraded" to City Gourmet in an effort to compete with the new fancy downtown market, Culinaria.

I hate to be a downer, but from what I can tell, the deli salads have suffered a sad fate. (Although they do create some really intereting cakes, now...).

Interesting cakes!

Where will I go for a delicious quickie around noontime now? Fast and cheap (and vegetarian), people! That's all I ask for!

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing.

You ever toss and turn,
you're lying awake and thinking about the one you love?

You ever close your eyes,
making believe you're holding the one you're dreaming of?

It hurts so bad when you finally know just how
low, low, low, low, low, she'll go.

-Chris Isaak

Baby did a bad, bad thing.

I know I am not supposed to patronize your, ahem, establishment. I know that I'm not supposed to, um, eat you. But I can't help myself. A girl's got needs.

Aspiring vegan, yes, but when your siren song of triple cream, or baked mac-n-cheese, or melted cheese between two deliciously buttered grilled pieces of bread, or - oh my - goat cheese scone! calls to me, I can't control myself.

I've seen the videos of horrible treatment of dairy cattle and I've supported my vegan friends in their personal and professional endeavors, but I just, er, melt, when you're near.

I'm not saying I need you. I'm not even saying I love you. I'm simply saying I'm weak in your presence. I'm intrigued by your creaminess. I'm fascinated with the way you, uh, taste.

I can't promise this will go on forever. I don't think either you or I want that. But for now, just for the moment...

I'm disappointed in you.

I think it's time we compiled a list
of places that we shouldn't go.
Now is not the time to lose your voice.
Everyone should have a choice.
-Maximo Park

Game over, St. Louis.

I believed your promises, I did. I thought we had potential. Most definitely. I tried to love you. But you’ve let me down. As my friend recently said, “most of the time St. Louis is cool. But when it lets you down, it lets you down in the worst way.” Indeed.

I hate to write you off, as I’ve always tried to be your number one fan. But in light of recent events, I have no choice but to say that your food options aren’t doing it for me. I dare say it’s over.

First, all of your good qualities, the good places to eat, seem to close down. I’ve already mourned the losses of Revival and Eternity Deli, as well as the unfortunate transformations of Erato and City Grocer. But Sol, sweet, Sol, once the greatest lounge in the world, complete with velvet sofas, curtains, and espresso martinis, now a hideous warehouse techno dance club. Sol, simply, my bangs aren’t big enough. And I have reason to fear that the ONE vegan resty in town won’t be here forever.

But I’ve not even begun to touch on my other issues. I try to maximize the positive. I’m a person that accepts you for who you are and embraces you in all of your individuality. But if we’re being honest, really truly honest, then I really do have some complaints.

Mosaic, although you’re one of my favorite places to go, while your asparagus gnocchi, fried artichoke hearts with chili aioli, blood orange broccoli salad, and grilled asparagus are fantastic, the truth is, you haven’t changed your menu in more than five years. I know where to go if I want truffled frites, but seriously, have you got nothing going on inside of that kitchen of yours?



As for Indian: again, St. Louis, good effort. Rasoi you have taken upscale Indian and made something of it. I commend you.



But at the end of the day, what have you done for me lately? I’ve been to Graffiti, which seats less than twenty patrons and the kitchen is equipped solely with some frying pans, microwaves, and crock pots and still, still, their green curried mango cheese and hummus pizzas put your Korma to shame. It’s Indian alright. But it’s new; it’s edgy; it’s amazing.



And I don’t even know where to begin with sushi. I don’t eat meat or fish so maybe you don’t want to make an effort with the veggie rolls and seaweed salads and wasabi and soy sauces. Maybe you put all your sushi eggs in the fish basket and couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

But I’ve seen the sushi light. I’ve met a real contender in Blue Ribbon in Brooklyn with my choice of more than THIRTY veggie rolls including spinach rolls and black forest mushroom and avocado rolls… plus my choice of two different kinds of seaweed salad.

I could go on. But clearly you don’t want to. You’re content with mediocrity so who am I to force you into taking chances?

Look, I don’t want to be a downer, and I hope I don't sound bitter. I wanted to be the champion of your assets and your number one fan. But the truth is you had the opportunity and you blew it. And it's not even that I can't forgive your shortcomings. It's really the way you handle them that is so disappointing.

I mean, 50% of restaurants don't make it - I get that. But to transform from one of the best places in town into a sports bar? Or simply to put a sign on the door without notice - "closed"? After all of these years, St. Louis, that's simply not going to cut it.

I’m sorry, St. Louis, but game over. As soon as I finish law school, I’m outta here!

Stop playing coy with me Mr. Fromagier!

Dear Charles Fromagier,

I know you were just being coy with me when I went to Artisanal in New York for a cheese dinner and you said you thought I probably wouldn’t even want cheese after my fondue with dried apricots and pine nuts accompanied by bread and crudites course.

And I know that when you kept returning to your cheese hole and I had to thrice summon you back to the table you were just playing hard to get.

And I know you were trying to impress me when you told me that investment bankers and gallery directors have been known to become fromagiers...

and that you were also trying to impress me with your stories of your trip to Wisconsin when you were sixteen and that one time you went to Vermont with friends and how you think you might have a distant cousin twice removed in Sicily.

But what I don’t understand is why you think I “wouldn’t even understand” your favorite cheese, epoisses, with all it’s melty French cow’s milk goodness and the honey-slathered walnuts and quince paste and dried fig cakes accompanying it.

Wasn't it you that said that anyone with a "deep enough interest" to "commit the cheeses to memory" could become a fromagier like you? Do you think my love for cheese - er you - is insincere? Do you doubt my commitment? Dear Dear Charles Fromagier, can’t you see that I yearn to melt with you?

Please stop playing games with me. I just know that we are a nice pairing. Please let's let our bold nutty flavors with hints of tang and firm texture and musty aroma finish emerge. I have seen the future and I know it is rich, full flavored, and intense.

You are the (big) apple of my eye.

New York: you are the apple of my eye.

My friend told my other friend that he thinks I have a crush on New York. You and I both know that's not exactly accurate.

But as a woman of few words (ahem), I defer to the masters to express how I really feel.

New York, have I told you lately that I love you? That there's no one else above you? Fill my heart with gladness. Take away all my sadness. That's what you do.

Candle Cafe, with your orange grapefruit ginger lemon juice, and your chimichurri barbecued seitan, and your brown rice veggie salad with vegan artichoke heart dressing, and your Mediterranean tofu wrap, you make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like a natural woman (woman).

Pegu Club, with your hand cut ice cubes, homemade maraschino cherries, candied ginger gin cocktail, and earl grey martinis, at last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over, and life is like a song. With your broccoli tempura, I found a dream that I could speak to, a dream that I can call my own. I found a thrill to rest my cheek to, a thrill that I have never known.


Mario Batali, I think about you and your Otto pizza with olive oil, roasted garlic, and spicy chilies day and night, it's only right. To think about the food I love, and hold it tight, so happy together, paired with a nice arugula roasted tomato salad.

'wichcraft: Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with your avocado pickled red onion salad topped with blackened chilies... and shaved Brussels sprout salad with Parmesan, pine nuts, and black currants, and your roasted eggplant honey ricotta toast points, and sweet potato goat cheese gratin with black olive tapenade, take my hand, take my whole life too. Because I can't help falling in love with you.


Strangers in the night exchanging glances, wondering in the night what were the chances we'd be sharing a pizza with hummus, zucchini, and wasabi peas at Graffiti. Something in your eggplant bun was so inviting, something in your mango cheese was so exciting, something in my heart told me I must have you.


Decibel underground sake bar, I'm so in love with you, whatever you want to do, is alright with me. 'Cause you make me feel so brand new, (let me tell ya) I want to spend my life with you. Pickled garlic, Japanese pancake with mayonnaise, sake, tofu, and rice cake, since, since we've been together, loving you forever is what I need... whether times are good or bad, happy or sad.


Al Di La, the way you make me feel (the way you make me feel), your Swiss chard stuffed Mulfati really turns me on (really turns me on) and your white salad with cauliflower, celery root, and fennel knocks me off my feet now baby (knocks me off my feet). With you, my lonely days are gone (lonely days are gone). Wooo hoo.


Bierkraft, you are the sunshine of my life. That's why I'll always stay around. Smoky Gouda Swiss spicy mustard roasted tomato arugula sandwich on a baguette, you are the apple of my eye. Forever you'll stay in my heart. I feel like this is the beginning, though I've loved you for a million years. And if I thought our love was ending, I'd find myself drowning in my own tears.

But New York, try as I might, I cannot stay. I knew that I was crazy, crazy for crying and crazy for trying and crazy for loving you. Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you. I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying and I'm crazy for loving you.

But if you're lost and you look then you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you. I will be waiting. Time after time. I love you.