Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing.

You ever toss and turn,
you're lying awake and thinking about the one you love?

You ever close your eyes,
making believe you're holding the one you're dreaming of?

It hurts so bad when you finally know just how
low, low, low, low, low, she'll go.

-Chris Isaak

Baby did a bad, bad thing.

I know I am not supposed to patronize your, ahem, establishment. I know that I'm not supposed to, um, eat you. But I can't help myself. A girl's got needs.

Aspiring vegan, yes, but when your siren song of triple cream, or baked mac-n-cheese, or melted cheese between two deliciously buttered grilled pieces of bread, or - oh my - goat cheese scone! calls to me, I can't control myself.

I've seen the videos of horrible treatment of dairy cattle and I've supported my vegan friends in their personal and professional endeavors, but I just, er, melt, when you're near.

I'm not saying I need you. I'm not even saying I love you. I'm simply saying I'm weak in your presence. I'm intrigued by your creaminess. I'm fascinated with the way you, uh, taste.

I can't promise this will go on forever. I don't think either you or I want that. But for now, just for the moment...

The universe played a dirty trick on me.

With my last dollar I tried to purchase some peanut m&m's to get me through two hours of con law. The vending machine thought I meant this:




Not that, vendy! Not that. Not ever that.

Somebody kindly lent me another dollar though!

I don’t think we’re going to work out.

Its not you, it’s me. Really. I think you’re, um, incredible. But We’re just not compatible.

Me and vegan shepherd’s pie, um, no.

Seemed like we’d work –on paper. I mean, eharmony would have matched us on at least 97 points – peas, mushrooms, lots of corn, sweet potatoes, tempeh, veggie stock, tomatoes.

Mmmm….. but. no.

Problem one is that YOU JUST DON’T GO AWAY. That’s a lot of shepherd’s pie for a single lady! I have needs, yes, but I also need my space.

Problem two: it’s the meatiness. I dig you tempeh, but I don’t need you. I have a full, happy, well-rounded life without you. And nutritionally balanced. Your fake-meatness really doesn’t add value.

I did my best, in the end, though: I worked my way through the reheating and rewrappings and reseasonings. I mean, I committed to your creation, I’d like to try to see it through to fruition. But I’m glad it’s over. I’ve cleaned out my fridge.

Moving on to roasted green been salad!

raw blog

I like the idea of raw, I really do. I know that it's healthy for you (despite my father trying to convince me that NOT cooking food zaps its enzymes), I know this. I have considered embracing a raw lifestyle, I have. I have pored over the pages of this cookbook, and I even registered for a vegetable dehydrator for my big event that begins with a W and ends with an ING, I did. But, for now, I'm still dabbling with the vegan thing; once cheese and I are on the skids permanently, maybe the transition to raw will be the inevitable next step. We'll see.

So for the moment, my raw lifestyle exists only in short bursts; usually when I'm traveling, because the one and only lonely raw restaurant in STL closed a while back. So, when I'm in NY, I hit PURE Food and Wine. This place is the one featured on SATC. I think it was the one where Samantha met Smith. Or at least that's the rumor. Or at least that's what New Yorkers let Midwesterners believe when they come visit, so they have a story to tell back home. (Remind me to tell you of the time I meet the Doog in NY... he's no MD, let me tell you!!).

The thing about raw is that it looks like "normal" food (whatever "normal" is). It's not some new invention concocted that highlights the food's natural raw beauty; nope, it's lasagna, pizza, tamales, risotto, etc. But the weird thing is that it's not just "normal" food uncooked (or kept under 118 degrees); rather, it's all kinds of unusual ingredients used to make food that resembles rice (which requires serious cooking), cheese (which is from an animal), etc. Hence, cashew cream, celeriac risotto, sprouted wheat crackers, and the like.

So at PURE, that's what we had--regular old run-of-the-mill food made from wacky ingredients and kinda room temperature. Here goes:

Caesar Salad with Pignoli Parmesan and Nori: Spicy Thai lettuce wraps with pea shoots, mango, cabbage, and a tamarind chile sauce:

Marinated shitake, avocado, ginger, and cucumber "sushi":

Creamy cauliflower samosas with banana tamarind sauce and mango chutney:

Chanterelle mushroom and Kalamata olive ravioli in macadamia nut cream:

White corn tamales with raw cacao mole and marinated mushrooms in salsa verde:

Wild mushroom and asparagus En Papillote in celeriac cream:And last but not least, Zucchini and Roma tomato lasagna with a basil-pistachio pesto and pignoli ricotta:

Holy zucchini!

So here's the thing, though. These dishes are amazing; they look stunning on the plate, all vegetably and fresh, and they taste incredible. It might not taste like Grandma's cheesy Ragu lasagna, but you get the idea--it's kinda "cheesy," it's tomato-y, the zucchinis are shaped like noodles. And it's good, it's way flavorful. It's fresh. It's healthy........

But I just can't commit to that right now. For the moment, I'll keep my rawness for special occasions or for when I need to detox. I'll still cook my beans til they're done. And in the mean time, in an attempt to eschew the animal products and embrace the earth, I'm on the hunt for yet another GREAT VEGAN BAG.

Why I don't eat meat

ACK!
EEEGADS!

HOLY POTATO!

LARD SAVE ME!