I think I've met someone.

He's a little quirky, totally ironic, extremely healthy, and 100% vegetarian. I fear this one might do me in, as I'm not sure we have a future together, and I know how these kinds of relationships can let you down.

As it is, Shangri-la is only open weekends and accepts only cash. These are red flags in the world of love as far as I'm concerned (in addition to living with your mother or having an empty fridge).

Nevertheless, I hereby vow to take this restaurant, to have and to hold, from this day forward, until death do us part.

How do I love thee, Shangri-la? You encourage me to embrace my freedom of choice! I can order everything - EVERYTHING - on the menu. Let me count the ways:

vegetarian slinger - eggs (though tofu is available), hashbrowns, cheese, onion, and vegan chili

chihuahua cheese quesadilla in whole grain non-trans-fat tortilla with house-made salsa

homemade veggie burger with grilled bellas and onions on it coupled with sweet potato fries

veggie omelet (there's broccoli in there!)

"magic carpet" wrap filled with house made black bean hummus, sundried tomato relish, green peppers, onions, lettuce, and non-trans-fat tortilla

veggie biscuits and gravy

veggie burrito

sunday brunch buffet

So MANY CHOICES!

side of green beans. S I D E O F B E A N S.

and what I haven't tried yet but fully intend to:

Veggie gyro

veggie BBQ burger

vegan caesar

soups without chicken stock!

OTHER GOOD STUFF.

It's love. This is the real deal. I'm shutting down my vegetarian restaurant dating service profile.

Another one bites the dust.

I'd like to take a moment to pay homage to yet another great restaurant that has died the sad St. Louis death: REVIVAL.

Why, I ask WHY? Because they're turning into a sports bar! Great idea! It's what every beautiful garden patio, five-star vegetarian-friendly menu, and hip urban locale aspire to! Giant TVs!

As a memorial, I'd now like to take a moment of silence and recognize the greatness that was Revival.

Oven-roasted cauliflower topped with shaved granny-smith apple was the tops.

In fact, revival really knew their way around a cauliflower: cream of cauliflower soup with chive oil drizzled on top was the bomb.

Mmmmm.... nobody made a better bella burger with slaw.

Carrot. Ginger. Chilled. Soup.

If you're going to fry something, why not fry potatoes, tomatoes, or balls of corn bread goodness? That's what Revival thought, anyway. Rightfully so.

And salads. Everybody does 'em. But not everybody has arugula, oranges, citrusy-pepper dressing. Holy Revival, Revival.

A tiny pot of mac-and-cheese. I would wager tiny pots of anything are good; but greatness surely must be a tiny pot of something cheesy.

Rest in Peace, Revival. You're gone long before your time.

secret lovers

Garlic and I have had words before.

It's not that I don't respect his lingering scent or his strong presence - I mean, I dig that in a potential partner. But the three-day garlic hangover after he's long gone, the middle-of-the-night garlic hot flashes, the taste of him on your lips well after you know he's moved on.... Those kind of things can haunt a woman. And I'm not into suffering.

But roasted garlic, that's another story. Whole clove, oven-roasted, tiny forks to remove the melty goodness and spread it on the toasted olive bread, that's my kind of lover. Steamy but not overpowering; complex, yet also gentle. A perfect presentation of in-the-moment passion without the long-felt heartbreak.

Cardwells' Mediterranean plate is a long-standing tradition with chunks of feta, toasted olive bread, dolmades, rotating salads like tabbouleh or cous cous or ratatouille, and of course, the roasted garlic.

Don't tell though - I don't want him to get any ideas.

life lessons.... cheese plate edition

Friend and I have started a list of life no-nos. It's more or less a compilation of general rules to be followed by the general public.

1. No chewing gum with your mouth open. just don't do it. Smack is whack.

2. No chicken salad in class. Don't bring it and eat it with crackers. This also applies to tuna salad, egg salad, ham loaf, corned beef hash, and anything else made by injecting recognizable edible items into jello moulds.

3. Never tell a person that you will "shoot them an email." Emails are not shot, no matter how "Wall Street" you think you are, they are "sent."

4. The four-minute hip hop sex ballad on your voice mail before the message begins? Really? I mean really?

And I would now add 5. Don't slice the cheese on a cheese plate; it's meant to be chunky. You have to use nuts. You must include dried fruits. And don't forget the freaking bread.

Modesto: you made a good effort with the honey-slathered walnuts and grapes; but your american-cheese-like slices were a huge turn off. Massive.

And 33, you're a wine bar; get with the program. 4 cheeses is great! But you gotta at least gimme a cracker, darnit.

Everyone, take some life lessons from your wiser counterparts:

* * *

Mosaic in STL:

Ok not great photos - but there are several chunks of cheese, nuts, a little shot glass full of aged reduced balsamic, grapes, garlicky crostinis, watermelon slice. The works! And the cheese is standing upright. How often do you see that?! Awesome.

* * *

Niche in STL

I've had the pleasure of enjoying a cheese plate at Niche on three occasions. They rotate their cheeses frequently, as well as the spread (quince paste? apple dill compote? raspberry rhubarb jelly?), and always accompany with house-toasted crostini and candied nuts. Fabulous.

* * *

In Chicago, some wine bar across the street from Union Park on the green line.

This one rocked - multiple bread choices, tons of dried fruit, including figs!, goat cheese, brie, mancheygo, and more, nuts, apples, pears. Oh my. This may very well be the best cheese plate I've ever had. Even better with the $19 glass of wine (I am not kidding). Not sure I get the onion roll, but at least this plate diversified.

* * *

Sashas in STL:

First, the cheese comes on a slab of marble. That's just classy. Second, you get an abundance of cheeses, breads, nuts, and fruits. And they are named charming titles like "French Tickler" and "Euro Trash." Ok not so clever... but better than not having a cheese plate at all, really. Isn't it?

Garlicky homemade crostini, walnuts, dried cranberries, mancheygo, mahon, some sort of goat's milk cheese, and the yummiest of yummies, the caramelly delicious Geitost! Darn good. Good wine too.

* * *

Cardwells in STL

Now they are most accomplished in the Mediterranean-plate arena (see coming post "secret lovers"), but they are nevertheless adept at putting together a decent cheese plate. Especially given their West County locale! (eegads)

Note the cube of quince paste and buttery toasted olive bread.... yum!

* * *

RL in Chicago (for those not in the know, that's the Ralph Lauren bar near Mich Ave.)

So it's in a haze; that doesn't change it's goodness. Everything's better name-brand, too, right? (I wonder what a Louis Vuitton cheese plate would look like?! oh my!)

* * *

The secret? chunks of good, if not rare, cheese.

Salted/roasted/sweetened/candied nuts

Fruits - dried and otherwise.

Jellies and pastes - such as quince paste (Cardwells!) or apple dill jelly (niche!).

* * *

There's a method; a formula. Don't mess with success. Take it from a near-vegan cheese plate connoisseur!!!

Miami is not your friend.

I was excited to go to Miami. I hear they have excellent sandwiches here, behind this gas station.


Didn't make it there. Nevertheless, I put on my Miami dress and let the sidewalk resty salespeople pitch me as I walked by. They tried to lure me with giant shrimps and lobster tails, but we both know that wasn't going to work. What did catch my interest, however, was the 10-gallon Mojito and the "buy one get one" deal during happy hour. As it turns out, that deal really applies to the small Dixie-cup-sized mojito.

I picked the resty with the nicest outdoor patio - cushions outside are so enticing! - and the best "view," then proceeded to happy hour.




This is what we got. We tasted it: a little frozen pizza, a little Stouffer's Home Delivery, and when someone barfed on the sidewalk next to us, we decided to move on.


Next place - better cushions, in fact, and a "cheese plate." Sounds promising!



Not promising.


Moving on yet again. This time, we thought, "when on spring break...."

But I can affirm, wholeheartedly, that Tequila Chica's is NEVER a good idea.

Finally, I let the iPhone do the walking and found a place highly regarded in another part of town. This area on La Esperansa Way was a pedestrian cobble-stone couple of blocks with some stores, a wine tasting place, and the restaurant I chose.

I should have been worried by the man in the Trojan costume prancing around outside, or the meat-ceiling, but it was, relatively speaking, OK.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for red checkers...

We enjoyed some Chianti, we split a Greek salad (their specialty?), and also the pesto mushroom gnocchi.

And then there were fireworks. No, not from the food; literally, fireworks.


And then we drove back to Boca, where the old Jewish New Yorkers retire and demand only the finest Italian wines and food. My kinda town. (Stay tuned for coming post "If I were an old man....")