beef (and beef), I forgive you

Friend and I wanted to try a new restaurant in the STL: KOKOs. I haven't tried it yet, because every time I look at the menu, I'm reminded of how meaty it is. But the tagline for KOKO is "pan Latin meets Creole," so there MUST be something I can eat, right? I mean, Pans, Latins, Creoles, they all like beans. They all like rice. They all like tomatoes (I mean, who doesn't heart tomatoes?). But I looked again, just to be sure, and nope, it's pretty meaty. Friend suggested we try another place. But something on the menu caught my eye, and I declined the offer. Under entrees is an option called "beef and beef." Seriously, not just one dead cow, but two. And not even varying kinds of carnage, like I know meaters enjoy, like bacon-wrapped veal or turducken (but that's a convo for another day); no, this was just a double whammy: "Beef and Beef." I took it as a personal challenge. So we went.

Now I'm not opposed to putting up a little bit of a fight with waiters, "so, um... hm... you don't have ANY meat-free dishes?," especially when even the salads have meat in them. But I was feeling generous, gracious, so I did not respond when the waiter politely answered, "nope." He offered the standard off-menu veggie fare, pasta, which is OK, but I wasn't in a noodle mood. Typically, I'd put together a meal of sides, which I actually quite enjoy, but even the sides were pretty meaty, and also, they had pizzas with fresh veggies, so that won me over (they had me at mushrooms).


First course, cornbread muffins with some sort of sweet pepper butter. It was sweet like a honey butter, but it had a little kick to it, plus little red jobbies in there, so I think it was some sort of chile pepper. The muffins were nice and chewy on the outside, but then were moist inside. Plus they had real bits of corn!




Then we had the guacamole and plantain chips. The presentation was a little banana bonanza! Also nice was that they were showered in chili powder so they had a yummy kick. Oh and it was super limey--which was unexpectedly good. The guacamole was the standard avocado mash, a little smoother than you'd expect, which made me a little nervous, because that's how Kraft non-avocado guacamole tastes, but this also had fresh bits of tomato, green pepper, and oddly, green onion in it. So I ceased questioning and instead dug in. I am gracious, right? Right. Plus, it was good.


And the salad: lots of goat, one tomato. (ONE TOMATO). I guess they ran out? It represented, though; it kept it real.

Then came my pizza: housemade crust, mushrooms, tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and peppers. Oh and light on the cheese. It was really yummy--totally didn't skimp on the veggies! I felt kinda dumb eating a pizza at a creole restaurant, but when the beans come with hamhock, I just can't partake. Besides, I do like me a good veggie pie!

Finally, though, was the dessert. It was so good, my photo had to be
all art-schooly (notice the fancy angle). But seriously, it was really just chocolate cake with chocolate icing, but there was this amazing inner layer of fruity cheese--kind of like strawberry cream cheese--which made it extra special. I don't know what's come over me lately--first strawberry churros, then strawberry filling. Next thing I'll be eating just plain old berries for dessert. And who does that? I mean really. Who does that? I don't even recognize myself anymore.

Then after, I felt like coffee, but instead of ordering the
standard after-dinner decaf, I indulged... espresso
martini. And that's the truth. Oh my!

All in all, I had a great time at KOKO. The curtains are fantastic (I am a firm believer that EVERYTHING should be enshrouded in velvet!), which made the atmosphere pretty durn nice. The food was good. And I did not feel the oppression of beef-and-beef once, not once. No one judged; no one stared; it was just dinner. And a pretty nice one at that.



But, gracious though I am, I would quietly, meekly, gently entreat KOKO to consider their roots, remember that a bean without a bacon is as possible as a fish without a bicycle... even today, even in the STL. And maybe next time when I go back, I'll be able to eat black-bean-salsa topped tofu or chili con mushrooms. Maybe!